Everyone loves a good laugh, so when the tension is high (test time, anyone?) and you want to get your students to relax, why not pull out one of our favorite animal jokes?
From chickens to sharks, lions to monkeys … we’ve got something for all your animal lovers. Check out our list of animal jokes below!
Our Favorite Animal Jokes
1. How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!
2. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
They are always stuffed.
3. What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
“Ruff!”
4. What is black and white and red all over?
A sunburned zebra.
5. How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
Build a sty-scraper!
6. Where do cows go for entertainment?
To the moo-vies.
7. What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
8. Why do sharks live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
9. What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
10. What kind of snake would you find on a car?
A windshield viper!
11. Why are monkeys terrible storytellers?
Because they only have one tail.
12. Why did the snake cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssside.
13. Where do famous dragons go after they retire?
The hall of flame.
14. Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar ID’s.
15. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
16. What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
Firequackers!
17. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
“Pleased to eat you.”
18. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?
Chocolate mouse.
19. What fish only swims at night?
A starfish!
20. What do fish do at football games?
They wave.
21. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon.
22. Where do milkshakes come from?
Nervous cows.
23. What do you call a dog with a fever?
A hot dog.
24. Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The Baaaahamas.
25. How do you make a cow float?
Root beer, ice cream, a cherry, and a cow.
26. What kind of bird works at a construction site?
A crane.
27. What does a fish say after sharing a new idea?
Let minnow what you think.
28. What do you call an alligator who solves mysteries?
An investi-gator.
29. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
30. Why don’t leopards play hide-and-seek?
They’re always spotted.
31. What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?
An udder failure.
32. What sound do porcupines make when they kiss?
Ouch!
33. What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny.
34. Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales.
35. Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show everyone he wasn’t chicken.
36. What made the witches lose the baseball game?
All of their bats flew away.
37. Why was the baby snake sad?
Someone took its rattle.
38. What do you call a pig that loves karate?
A pork chop.
39. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
40. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
41. What do frogs wear in summer?
Open-toad sandals.
42. What do you call a famous fish?
A starfish.
43. What did the cow use to do his math homework?
A cow-culator.
44. What bird has wings but can’t fly?
A dead one.
45. What made the fish blush?
It saw the ocean’s bottom.
46. What does a kitty eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies.
47. Can a kangaroo leap higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes, because buildings can’t jump!
48. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
49. What is a marsupial’s favorite drink?
Coca-Koala.
50. How often do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
51. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.
52. Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all the cows have horns.
53. Why do French people eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
54. What kind of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
55. Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
It used a honeycomb.
56. Where do cats go when they lose their tail?
To the re-tail store.
57. How did Noah see the animals in the ark at night?
With a floodlight.
58. What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
59. Why don’t cows have feet?
Because they lac-tose.
60. Did you hear about the killer whale that could play the bassoon?
He joined the orca-stra.
61. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs bunny.
62. What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
63. What animal is the worst to play a game with?
A cheetah.
64. Why did the duck cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
65. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
66. What should you give a feverish dog?
Mustard, because it goes with a hot dog.
67. Why did the spider want a computer?
To create a web-site.
68. What happened when 500 hares got loose on the highway?
The police had to comb the area.
69. Why did the pig leave the party?
Because everyone thought he was a boar.
70. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
71. Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
72. What happens when you shave a crazy sheep?
Shear madness.
73. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
74. What do you call a sea Transformer?
Octopus Prime!
75. What kind of milk does a pampered cow produce?
Spoilt milk.
76. Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory, dickory dock.
77. What do spiders do online?
They explore the World Wide Web.
78. What did the clean dog say to the bug?
Long time no flea.
79. Where do you start if a flea has bitten you?
From scratch.
80. Why are igloos designed to be round?
To keep polar bears from hiding in the corners.
81. What should you give an elephant?
Plenty of room.
82. What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like. He can’t hear you anyway.
83. What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
84. What do you call an elephant in a hamper?
Stuck.
85. What happens when you cross a balloon and a porcupine?
You hear a pop.
86. What happened to the frog whose car broke down?
He got toad.
87. Where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam.
88. Which animal is strongest?
A snail. It carries its house on its back.
89. What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice.
90. How did they get the hippo down from the tree?
They put him on a leaf and waited until fall.
91. What happened when the shark tried online dating?
He was catfished.
92. What kind of owl is always out of money?
A borrowing owl.
93. What did the dolphin say to the fish?
You need a porpoise in life.
94. Why was the mama robin sad when her chick left the nest?
She had empty-nest syndrome.
95. What do you call a bird who plays sad songs on the guitar?
A blues jay.
96. Why did the hamster quit his exercise routine?
He felt like he was just going around in circles.
97. What do you call badgers who keep making lists for their mates?
Honey-do badgers.
98. What do you call a porcupine interviewing for a job at a balloon factory?
Unemployed.
99. Why was the Australian car towed away?
It dingo.
100. What do you call a miniature porcupine who steals money from people?
A hedge fund hog.
101. What did the leopard say after finding two quarters and a dime on the ground?
“And they say a leopard can’t spot his change.”
Want even more jokes like these animal jokes for your students? We’ve got them on numerous topics including math jokes, history jokes, science jokes, grammar jokes, and music jokes.
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